Message of Regret
by Addy H.D
Summary: Al writes his first and last message to the boy he didn't know. The boy he could have helped -saved- but didn't. All in the form of a poem. No slash. PART 2: Don't be Sorry- Scorpius's post-death response to Al's poem.
1. Message of Regret

His sister Lily had given him a notepad for his last birthday. He had seen no point in it, but he had been happy to get it anyways. He hadn't wrote in it at all since he got it, because he had nothing to write about.

Until now...

Al gripped the charmed pencil in his hand and wondered how he could start the poem he desperately wanted to write. He had never been very good at writing poems or writing period, but it had to be a poem. Eventually, he decided to just let the words flow out like speech.

_I saw you every day_

_I saw how much you were hurting_

_But I did nothing_

_I didn't hate you_

_Unlike the rest of them _

_But I ignored you_

_Even when I could see you needed a friend_

_So I'm just as bad as the rest of them_

_I never knew what you were like_

_No one did_

_Because no one wanted to_

_But I'm sure you were a good kid_

_Nothing like you father_

_I don't understand why _

_Everyone was so biased against you from the start_

_It didn't even help when you were sorted into the lions_

_While I went to the snakes_

_There is so much I would like to know about you_

_But I cannot because you are gone from this world_

_What was running through your head as you fell?_

_Were you thinking how strangely fitting it was?_

_That is one of my many guesses_

_I can't say them all_

_Even no there are people mocking you_

_Laughing_

_But they should feel ashamed_

_If they knew_

_Because of them _

_One face will never be seen on this earth any longer_

_Though I'm sure _

_That it wasn't just the students at school_

_I remember the Howler at the beginning of first year_

_And I remember seeing you crying in the hall soon after _

_Holding a letter _

_While mumbling about how you still wanted to go home_

_Did your parents disown you that day?_

_Did you spend the summer alone on the streets?_

_That day is when I should have helped _

_If I had – Things would be better_

_You'd still be alive_

_And I wouldn't be living with this massive guilt_

He stopped writing when he heard familiar laughing and the annoyingly familiar mocking of the boy now gone. It was coming from the mouth of his 'dear' older brother. He knew he should have written this in his common room. The Slytherins were much quieter then the Griffindors.

He could feel his inspiration slipping away from him and he knew he had to give the poem a good ending. Putting his attention back on his poem, he began to write the last few verses.

_There are so many more things I'd like to say_

_But all that can't be properly said in a life time_

_Or on an insignificant piece of paper_

_These words are meaningless_

_Compared to spoken words_

_Words I'm unable to say _

_No one knows that you're gone_

_Some how they haven't noticed_

_Not any teachers_

_I'm the only one who found your body_

_And I was the one who buried you_

_Near a place no one would dare to go_

_No one can hurt you now_

_I bid you a good afterlife_

_And I hope you're in a place where you're loved _

_Know that I regret not helping_

_Scorpius -_

_I'm Sorry_

* * *

_**A little insight:**_

_Scorpius was bullied by almost everyone at Hogwarts and the ones who didn't bully him did nothing to stop it, all because of what his family was like. His parents did in fact disown him and he did spend the summer on the streets. He killed himself by throwing himself off the Astronomy tower, near the being of second year after he realized that it hadn't gotten better._

As to why it had to be a poem, it was common knowledge around Hogwarts that Scorpius liked reading and writing poems, something he was often mocked for.


	2. Don't be Sorry

_I know how much you regret my death_

_Just as much as I regret it myself_

_I shouldn't have jumped_

_I should have found help_

_But it's too late now_

_To late for me_

_Do not feel guilty _

_For you had nothing to do with my death_

_You may not have helped_

_But you didn't bully and hurt me_

_And for that I thank you_

_Maybe if we _

_Or our fathers_

_Had made different_

_Or better choices_

_We could have been friends_

_From near the start of our time at Hogwarts_

_The place were I am now is wonderful_

_But I wish to go back to earth_

_Despite how much I hated it_

_But just for a little bit_

_I mostly want to do so because I want to meet you personally_

_I have friends in this world_

_People who care for me_

_A few of them are relatives of yours_

_They're proud of you_

_And your father_

_But they're quite disappointed in your brother_

_You know the reason why_

_You seem like a nice person_

_And you would have made a great friend_

_You could have even been the friend _

_That would have kept me attached to the land of the living_

_But it doesn't really matter now_

_There is no need to say sorry to me_

_As said before you didn't cause any of this_

_It was my own decision to jump_

_To be truthful_

_It took all my Gryffindor courage _

_To actually convince myself to jump_

_Maybe if I had been sorted into any other house_

_Even Slytherin _

_Then I wouldn't have realized how much courage _

_I really had_

_Maybe then I would have chickened out_

_When everyone does eventually find out that I died_

_And they will soon_

_I'm sure of that_

_Make sure you do anything possible to make them feel guilty_

_There is no point in even trying to say _

_Everything you want to say_

_To ask me_

_There is enough time for that when we meet each other_

_But I hope the day we meet _

_Is not for many_

_Many _

_Many years_

_Live life to the fullest_

_Treasure every moment of your life _

_Life is a gift_

_A gift that I ruined for myself_

_I know you cannot read this but..._

_Albus -_

_Thank You_

As Al let the ashes of the pages with the poem he had wrote out into the night breeze, he swore he heard someone say 'thank you'

Instead of pushing it to the back of his mind and forgetting it, he smiled, knowing, or at least pretending, who it was that thanked him.

"You're welcome Scorpius."

**Please tell me what you think! **


End file.
